wednesday february 23, 2011
black and white
A picture's worth a thousand words.
This picture is actually rather famous. It's called, "Kissing the War Goodbye". It was photographed on August 14th, 1945. Though the picture depcits a couple in love, what we are actually looking at is an enthusiastic sailor - celebrating the end of the war on Japan with the nearest nurse he could find. He simply grabbed her and kissed her, and she obliged.
So, although in itself this image is rather alluring, the story behind the picture actually has less depth than the picture itself. My point? Couldn't the same be said of some of our romantic snapshot moments? You have them, don't you? You know...when you have had a conversation with a guy, shared a joke, a cup of coffee, or a table in the library; he wrote on your facebook wall, said he loved your laugh, or complimented your shoes - and there it was - a snapshot moment that you refer to often. Because -FOR REAL!!! what could he have possibly meant by that?
We often go to great lengths to recreate those moments with intricate detail so that we can acurately process them - relive them - and then invite another sympathetic viewer to join in our quest to find the hidden meaning. You know what I'm talking about, right? Because the question always persists - what did that mean???.
Sad, but quite often true, our search for depth often ends in despair. The man who captured our interest by his sparkling gesture or words - may have meant only what he said - and what he did - well, that might have been accomplished without one second thought. Sparkle gone. HOW CAN THIS BE? Doesn't everyone speak and act with double meanings? What is the value of a wink, a second phone call in one day, or a poke on facebook if there isn't any other meaning? AHHHH Virginia - do not despair! There is a Santa Clause. Men - who want to leave delightful hints of their affections do exist. And, sweet, sweet girl...THEY'RE MESSING EVERYBODY ELSE UP! Aren't they? Not really! But because those kind of guys do live and breathe, and pursue - how does a woman define the difference between the hint that leads to gold - and the one that leads to junk? Great question!
Women! All the single ladies reading! Please, please hear me out. And yes - you can take or leave this advice - but if you have a history of heartache because you have misread some guy's kindness for love - then just maybe lightly consider what I am about to say. Protect your heart from letting anyone lead you without knowing where you are going. If a guy repeatedly - and I do mean repeatedly - cuz one crumb doesn't necessarily mean there's a trail - you with me? ...if a guy repeatedly is saying or doing something that hits your heart and makes it go - boom - boom -boom - etching out a rock solid moment you have to lug around in your back pocket...SAY SOMETHING TO HIM. Think about it - we talk to our girlfriends - our moms - our mentors - or Dear Abby for that matter - anyone who will listen to how we feel about what happened and what we think it means - anyone - but the guy. AND WHY??? because we're afraid of looking like a fool, right? Well - don't we end up looking like one anyway? Broken hearted moments are not pretty. We allow ourselves to be deceived. Did you catch that? We ALLOW it. The picture of POSSIBILTY that keeps getting painted is the one we enjoy - so we let these moments go on creating a false hope album.
My best advice for those of you who are the object of some man's kind gestures - or his "let's hang out" kind of attitude that holds no anchor - only joy riding... - ask him his intentions. Yes! I'm bringing it back! No - you don't have to say it in that old fashioned way, "So, young man, just what are your intentions with this relationship?" Nah! We're sassier than that these days, aren't we? Give it your own sassy style and grace - but you could say something like: - "What you just said, - (or what you just did) - hit my heart. Now that can be a good thing for you - or a bad thing - so you better tell me if there is something more going on here - or not." If he keeps calling, and texting, and asking you to hang out - draw a line that defines his heart and outlines your boundaries. YOU ARE A WOMAN OF STRONG CONVICTIONS - right? Act like one - and he'll respect you for that - and so will the women in your life - who need to follow your lead.
"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Proverbs 31:29
posted by laura lewis