monday january 11, 2010
Hi Laura -
I wanted to talk to you about feeling desirable. I know that sounds really odd, but let me explain-
I am a 'big' girl, as in weight. I'm not the standard for beauty in any way or means, and as a result the only guys that have made me think they would be interested in me have been kind of well, creepers. I never really feel completely beautiful because of my size and just all around looks. The Bible says that as a creation of God, I am His image. But I have to wonder, did God mean before weight or after? Did He mean when I look my best or when I look horrible?
Thank you for making yourself open for questions.
Hi, Sweet One. Thank you for your question. You are not alone in your query. You are not alone in your feelings. Thank you for trusting me to seek God and for trusting me with your heart. Thank you for being vulnerable to allow others to experience what we are learning together. Please, take time to read on your own the Scripture that I share with you. In God's Word - there is much truth. His Word alone is what is discerns our hearts. My Words fail - God's do not. God's Word is where I want to encourage you to go. Ask GOD, in your time with Him – His Word - to show you what He - your Abba - your Daddy - wants you to know about how He feels about you. I want to share some verses that are really wonderful to ponder night and day.
First of all, my friend, - God loves you and there is no condition on His love. You have it - you have always had it. His love is HUGE for you - so much so - that He planned you - chose you for Himself - and died for you - so that you could realize His love and be with Him forever. How's that for adoration?!?! My Words fall short of explaining it - but His Word will not. It says in Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: WHILE we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Think about that - Jesus died for us when we - for Him - could have cared less. When we were disgustingly lost in our self gratification - our self indulgences - Jesus - He thought of us - and wanted us to know His love anyway. That amazes me. You, creation of God, are loved without condition. And whether you choose to love Him or not - He still loves you. Sin separated us from Him. Sin “smudged God’s fingerprint” on the image by which we were molded. Jesus restores all of that. "For God so loved the World that He gave His only Son. That whosoever believes in Him - will not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16. You know that one, right? When Jesus was hanging on the cross - what did He say to God? Do you know this verse? He didn't say, - “Get me out of here! He didn't say, “It isn't worth it - they're undeserving, vile, and ugly people.” He didn’t even say, “What on earth am I doing here?” He most certainly understood full well what He was doing and why He was doing it, and from that understanding he cried, “Father, forgive them - they know not what they do." Luke 23:34 Amazing to me! Ignorant in my sin - but nonetheless - still sinning. He chose to die for you and me anyway out of amazing love. He chose to plead for our forgiveness, so that you and I could be in relationship with God. Only unconditional love would do that. Only God is capable of such love. If we choose to BELIEVE the truth these verses teach us - we can LIVE a different way - in the realization of God's love. Let me try to explain.
Jesus said in John 15:9 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love." Great, right! But what does that look like? Think about it. God's love for the son - is the same as the Son's love for us. And Jesus told us - remain in His love. We can remain in His love? How, right? What's that when He's not here? We're so stuck in the tangible - the immediate - the visual - the audible - the physical kind of love that satisfies immediately - that this is a stretch to grasp. Jesus went on to explain - to give us something more to think about. Verse 10: "If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands." Now if you're like me, you're goin' - eiyieyie - commands? geesh – to lock in to His love requires rule following???....hmmmmm. Not so. We have to remember what Jesus said when he was asked - what were the most important commands to follow. He said "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is ONE. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:29-31 WOW! We have it seemingly so easy - but we make it so hard on ourselves. There is no hoop jumping with God. Love Him. Love Him and we will remain in His love. Love others and we will remain in His love. TO love Him - now that is where I just go...wow...loving God Almighty - what does it look like for me to really love the God of the Universe??? With everything that I am? What does it look like for me to love others? Really love them? There's the beauty of our personal relationship to Him. He is faithful to teach us - sooooo faithful to walk you by hand through the life that He intended for you - with good things for you to do - with specific lessons for you to embrace - with precious moments for you to imbibe and realize the Creator of the Universe is your God and He is not only passionate about you - but is jealous for your love.
Jesus goes on to say in John 15 "I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." If you are lacking in joy - when we are supposed to be complete in our quest for JOY...which Jesus has completely tied to loving God and loving others ...where's the disconnect? Are we unhappy - feeling unloved because we have not sought out what it means to love OUR ONE GOD?
Jesus said that heart, soul, mind and strength; every aspect of who I am (we are) is to be about loving ONE GOD, and in that my joy – your joy - would be complete. The disconnect with that is not because God does not love me. It's because I have moved away from - HIM - the constant flow of His love ("remain in my love") to ME.
Do you watch The Bachelor? The other night – my husband and I tuned in. In this one episode one of the bachelorettes was busted for “entering into a ‘relationship’ with one of the employees of the show.” YUK! Because she chose some cheap thrill with a staffer dude, she was asked to leave. She chose to have a “relationship” with someone other than “THE GUY” she was there to fall in love with! And she was sent home not only in shame for her poor choice – but without love that possibly could have been hers for the rest of her life. What do you think? Worth it? Now – limited example for sure – but God is YOUR King. We are created to be His. To reflect His glory! He loves us! How gracious He is to show us in our dissatisfaction, in our ache for love, in our ache to feel beautiful – we feel that way because we have chosen someone – something – over Him.
His love for you and I does not move. AND - either in my sin, or in my ignorance - I moved away from him. Let’s think about that. God loves us, His daughters, and finds us beautiful no matter what. What have we done to lose sight of that? Sin blinds me to truth. Sin keeps me focused on me and not the God of Love who is my life. When I choose another source of satisfaction, gratification, - in essence – when I choose something, someone where God is enough – I lose move myself away from His love source. BUT – OH HOW GREAT IS THE LOVE OF GOD! HE is SOOSOOSO - I cannot stress this enough - SO faithful to teach me – you and I both - what it means to love Him! and not for His benefit - He's God - for your benefit – for mine.
Hear this: you are loved by God. You still with me? You are beautiful to God. Psalm 45:10-11 "Listen daughter, and pay careful attention: forget your people and your father's house. Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord." Did you catch that? That is for you! Yes, sweet one, you!!! For all of us women who ache in our heart to know that we are beautiful. "Let the king be enthralled by your beauty." How can we let him? We come before Him. wow. think about that. Going before God. Think about how you, sweet one, might do that.
In the book of Esther, chapter 1 - Queen Vashti dishonored the King by not going before him. She said "no" to his request. Our King of Kings - wants us to come before Him. And because of Christ - we have entrance into his throne room. What it means to come before Him- is simple. Seek Him, sweet one. We are always in His presence. Psalm 139. Always. Seek Him and you will find Him. Go to Him - He is there. Honor Him with His request to remain in His presence (Back to John 15 - remain in my love). That means we make the choice. We are not told why Vashti CHOSE not go before the king - but, I can think of a thousand reasons why I have said no to going before My King. If I have not loved Him well - I am ashamed to go before Him. He loves us no matter what we've done - so that's silly. I know though - when I do eventually return to Him - I am so ashamed of my unfaithfulness. I feel ugly because of my sin, - and I hate that feeling! But then - oh the grace of God! In His presence I am so much more aware of His love! In His presence He covers me with His love and reminds me that He has forgiven me. I hear in my heart, "Remain in my love." In His love we are free from guilt and shame. In HIS LOVE, we are fully satisfied - loving ONE God.
What does it mean for you to remain in His love - no where else in your quest for love- but there? Use God's Word to help you answer that question. Read the book of John. Ask God to teach you what it means to realize His love - to love Him heart, soul, mind and strength. He wants you to know how much you are treasured – how very beautiful you ARE - and His WORD is His love letter to you.
There's a book I'd like to recommend - along with the Scripture of course that I've shared with you - Do You Think I'm Beautiful - by Angela Thomas is a book that will encourage you and draw you closer to the God who finds you astounding! I'd like to share with you a short passage from it- and with that I'll end this letter.
"Being desperate for God keeps us wrapped in His arms at the dance. Being desperate for God has meant for me that I am learning to eat, sleep, drink, and breathe Jesus, climbing over anything that keeps me from Him. I realize that it sounds extreme. It sounds like nothing else I've ever done in my life. But I don't know of any other way. To eat, sleep, drink, and breathe Jesus means that I am learning to give priority to the pursuit. It does not mean that I am super spiritual or anywhere close to the arriving. It just means that I am dragging myself into His presence and staying there. It means that I am choosing not to run away from God even in the shame of my sin. I am crying into His shoulder instead of numbing the pain of my life. I have stopped looking everywhere else to be filled and realize that He is the only One who is able. I am putting His Word into my mind even when I am empty or useless or mad.
...Desperation is the state of the heart that comes to pursue God for its very life. The spiritual disciplines are the means by which we keep putting ourselves into the presence of God. It means that you keep coming back to prayer even when you cannot see one answer. Keep reading the words in the Bible until the Holy Spirit shows up and gives you understanding. Keep hanging around other believers even when they have disappointed and caused pain. Keep bringing every ugly thought back into captivity. Keep repenting even if you're tired of repenting. Keep singing the praise of worship even when your heart seems to be dying.
What does God do with a desperate woman? I imagine that He smiles as He lifts her up into His presence. Zephaniah said, 'The Lord your God is with you; HE is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, HE will quiet you with his love, HE will rejoice over you with singing." Zeph. 3:17"
Thank you for writing to me. I'm excited for the time you have ahead of you in the presence of the King of Kings!!!
LOVE to you Beautiful One! Much love!
posted by laura lewis