Question:

I know that the Bible says that this is the best time of my life. As a single girl, I have freedom I will never have again. But I watch others my age and they have found the one for them, and I have yet to date anyone. Why can't I just shut off the part of my head that says I have to be in a relationship now?

Reply:

Hey! Thanks for writing! I am grateful to hear from you and for this opportunity to learn with you. Your words have gripped my heart – because they reflect your heart, and you’re hurting. I want to encourage you with what God has to say, because my words – my thoughts, even though I care very much for where you are and what you are feeling – my words would fail in comparison to the love, and hope, and truth, of God’s Word.

I want you to consider with me the first statement in your email. You said, “I know that the Bible says that this is the best time of my life.” I think you have stated part of the truth – but not the whole truth. This time in your life is like every other time in your life that you have lived and yet to live – it is purposed by God. Psalm 139:16 “…all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Not one day is unintended, and that truth alone stirs my heart when I wake up to pursue God in each day. That thought didn’t used to move me. I used to wake and get up to live for myself, until God taught me who He was and what I was missing in my empty pursuits of satisfaction and joy. Every day is a day of purpose that God ordained. How you view it does not determine its value. It is what it is – of God - that you should live and breathe. Where you are in your singleness today, sweet one, is in an opportunity to live in undivided devotion to God. Paul instructed the Corinthians in this in I Corinthians 7. Check it out when you get a chance, but I would like to highlight a few verses for us. In I Corinthians 7:17 it says concerning married life and single life, “Nevertheless, each of you should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to you, just as God has called you.” Wow! So much from that one verse speaks volumes to me.  Are you hearing truth with me? Live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned. As a believer, how do we live? That is a great question, and one that should send us on a life long pursuit through God’s Word. The whole of the Bible speaks to that. We live in obedience to God – loving Him with all our heart, soul, mind, strength (Mark 12:29-30). And wow – expressing that will take our entire lives, right? And the part of that verse that says, “…in whatever situation the LORD HAS ASSIGNED.” Sheweeeee…Now there’s some truth we need to soak up. I may think I put myself in this boat, but I got it all wrong in that perspective. This time of your life, sweet one, is assigned by God. He gave you this time in your life – assigned it to you in His book before you took your first breath - and to absorb that truth, pray about it, seek God daily in light of that truth, - that is where peace and joy can be found. God’s Word is our perspective adjuster day in – and day out. My heart, although I ache to be steadfast moment by moment, is prone to wander, and so it deceives me.  Every day – as God’s mercies are new for us – again we need to seek His perspective to embrace Him as we live in the day He made - for His purposes.

Consider with me what Paul writes to women in their singleness: “An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” I Corinthians 7:34b-35. Now, here’s where your first statement comes in. You can choose to see this as the best time of your life, or not. It’s up to you. You’re in it now – and God is over it whether you like it or not. The joy is there if you choose to find it. Jesus promised that He brought life and life to the fullest. Will we choose to live in that or lament our circumstances? Paul rejoiced in his circumstances – not because they always felt good – but because he chose to live out of the truth that they were of God for His glory through Paul. Everything in his life he surrendered to God for one purpose: the sake of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I Corinthians 9:19-23. Whether you are single and learning to be devoted to the Lord, or married and learning to be devoted to the Lord in your marriage, both are purposed for the glory of God through Christ.

You may not FEEL like it isn’t a hootin’ and hollerin’ party in the moment. But feelings have very little to do with this life in Christ. In fact, the one thing I have learned about my feelings is that I must surrender them to God – in my joy, in my sorrow, in my longing, in my satisfaction – my feelings are also to be surrendered to God. Feelings can be so deceptive, and God would not have given them to us, unless they to were ours to give back to Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. We – believers - are a people who surrender to God – in everything. Proverbs 3:5-6.

Will you read I Corinthians when you get a chance? And may I encourage you to read Psalm 119 as well? So much goodness in God’s Word! Read the whole thing while you’re at it! Ha! I know it will take a lifetime! Enjoy it every day! And share with me what you are learning so I can post it here for others to be encouraged! Will you, please? Psalm 119:57 says, “You are my portion, Lord;” What does the Psalmist mean by that? Portion of what? Food? Goodness? Joy? Love? Sorrow? Pain? Life? All of it? What is a God portion? All of Him? Some of Him? How does He know what I need? Why do others seem to have more? Lots of questions to consider. What does it mean, my friend, that God is our portion? Don’t you wonder why God would make that statement live in His Word? I did. I wondered – big time - and I sought the meaning of that powerful truth at a time in my life when I wasn’t, single, sweet one – but married with two babies at my feet. Circumstances – even when they are full of blessing - will never satisfy you. God is the only one who will ever be your portion. And it is GOOD – to be satisfied by Him and Him alone. We need to know who He is, really know Him, or we won’t realize the fullness – and goodness – of the portion that is ours. Then , everything else – everything and everyone else - will rest well in your heart, soul, mind and strength with correct perspective as God intended those people and circumstances for you – as He intended them, my friend,  before you were even a life with a heart to beat and long for Him. Read Psalm 119 carefully and prayerfully and ask God what it means that He is your portion.

Thank you for trusting me with your heart. I have prayed about this opportunity, and am hopeful that this note brings you encouragement. Please be sure to examine my words pressed up tight with what God has said in His: I Corinthians 7 and Psalm 119. Okay? And don’t forget to let me know what He is teaching you! I love to learn alongside you!

“YET – I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:23-26

LOVE!

Laura